Monday, April 6, 2009

Beware Of The Crayola Nazi!

I remember gasping out loud the first time I saw the display of circular 150 count Crayola sets. I looked around...not to worry. I was in our local Kmart and quite alone in the back aisle. No need to worry about wary sidelong glances from strangers as I picked up and caressed a pound of waxy delight. Halfway into my cart I thought of Dave Ramsey. Do I need this (yes? NO! But I have never seen such a wonderful array of crayons. I think it might BE a NEED. ?. And I have felt cheated by the smaller packs I already have. I miss many of the green tones of my youth. What happened to them?) But I was strong. I put them back and walked away.

Within two weeks I stumbled upon them at Meijer and quickly placed them in my basket and headed for the checkout. Oh, the SMELL!!!!! The wonderful smell of Christmas mornings ! Brand, spanking new, perfectly tipped Crayola Crayons, ...but BETTER! This circular wonder telescopes upward into three tiers of waxy, Technicolor wonder. It has it's own demilune shaped sharpener ( ...but we don't tell the babies about that option.)

I couldn't wait for Eden's next visit to show her my new...."Precious" (are you seeing me as Golum hunched protectively over my treasure?) Let me tell you, at the very least, I have company in my OCD behavior with Crayolas. Eden immediately took charge of the situation. This was a two year old who could name and select her favorites: "Sky Blue" and "Periwinkle" and "Scarlet" out of the 150. We play interesting games atop gigantic drawing pads. Each crayon's color must be read and marvelled over. There are the crayons we stop and coo over for their "creamy" application to paper, and the less favorites which scrape across the pad, usually hindered by silvery glitter actually embedded in their wax! Sometimes we take them all out and arrange them in color order...OH, the Thrill of it!

Eden's OCD goes beyond mine. As a two, now three year old, she doesn't worry about how she will explain her sense of Crayon Etiquette to others....This is just how it is, do not question her. First off, white crayons are useless. They don't, afterall, show up on white paper. After putting up with my returning the three white crayons to the storage tower, she'd had it with me. She didn't make a fuss, though. Just walked the three offensive crayons into the living room and banished them to live in a dark drawer with the euchre cards. Also not allowed to co mingle with more favored "Caa-Yahrs" are the "Cornflower Blue", "Salmon", and "Spring Green" which somehow, perhaps in an escape attempt,found their way under the sun room sofa and were discovered and partially eaten by Idgie and Scooter. They no longer have a home with their WHOLE brother crayons. There appears to be no political correctness or compassion in Eden's crayon world. Only the best need apply!

This may be different with the others....Ellis is just beginning to color, but she loves to put the round, plastic cover on her head and walk around the house quite proud to sport her clear, plastic "fez". Judah can now pull himself up to stand beside the coloring table. His eyes are BIG and he reaches out for crayons, when his big sister is preoccupied elsewhere...slowly he looks at the beautiful, wax stick in his pudgy hand....slowly he inserts it into his mouth and slimes it

...OH NO!!! To the Euchre Card drawer with you!


Mango Tango, Tumbleweed, Mauvelous, Manatee, Outer Space ( I love this one!), Sonic Silver, Wild Blue Yonder Asparagus, Blush, Fern, Big Dip O'Ruby, Tickle Me Pink, Purple Mountain's Majesty, Bittersweet, Shadow, Purple Pizzazz, Mountain Meadow, Razzmatazz, Shimmering, Wild Strawberry, Timberwolf, Razzle Dassle, Eggplant, Steel Blue, Cyber Grape, Illuminating Emerald, Magenta Electrasant, Shamrock, Sheen Green, Macaroni and Cheese, Fuzzy Wuzzy, Metallic Sunburst, Jazzberry Jam, Blast Off Bronze, Alloy Orange, Pink Sherbet, Razzmic Berry.